ELEELE, HAWAII — What was once an act of celebrated heroism has now drawn suspicion and ire from online crowds after area man Hollis Dudley, who received a fecal transplant from WWE wrestler and actor Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, started to exhibit mysterious side effects. Dudley, a longtime sufferer of severe IBS, was once elated when he heard the Moana actor had volunteered to make a fecal donation to assist the Hawaiian native for a novel medical procedure doctors can now use to treat the digestive disorder. Doctors can treat bowel disorders like IBS by surgically implanting poop from a healthy individual into a patient's intestines, which helps replenish the gut bacteria essential for a functioning digestive system.
"It means a lot to me that a big-time actor like The Rock would take time out of his day to poop in a fellow Hawaiian," said Dudley in an interview with NBC News. However, things would soon take a turn for Dudley when he started to notice strange side effects during post-op recovery: his nipples had begun to protrude, and his testicles had shrunk considerably. Follow-up blood tests revealed abnormally high levels of testosterone and fluoxymesterone, an anabolic steroid, which Dudley accuses The Rock of failing to disclose in his transplant approval form in a lawsuit filed against the Jumanji 2 actor. According to Dr. Alva Alexander, an enterologist based in Honolulu, fecal matter can "carry residual byproducts from the bloodstream of its original host, such as food or medication. It's of utmost importance that fecal samples are cleared before transplantation, or severe complications can occur." At press time, The Rock denied the allegations, filing a legal response where he accused Dudley of "trying to make a quick buck off [his] kindness" even though "The Rock's poop is 100% ALL NATURAL."
