dzsqualala cures PSSD with DIY FMT from brother (Post-SSRI Sexual Disorder, fecal microbiota transplant, 2023)

[Michael Harrop]

A French guy who initially didn't seem too well-informed on some points (like the procedure) as the resources he was using are poor. But he then seems to have read some of the information from humanmicrobiome.info and decides to try capsules. He's another person who gets lucky by knowing a decent donor (brother) and having an easy-to-treat case. He initially uses lower-route (enema) only, and then takes capsules. He says that after a year he's completely cured.

He cites Blauwasser's experience as his inspiration.

Major improvements post-fecal transplant (to be continued) - by dzsqualala, Oct 2023.

He starts out by describing one of the many reasons to avoid reddit:

I was hesitant to post here because i haven't been wanting to get involved with this community anymore. Hopeless people constantly belittling or gaslighting each other, while wallowing in misery and getting nowhere.

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That matches my years of experiences on the disease-related subreddits. And that ethos is even enforced by many of the moderator teams, who may have ulterior motives.

I got off Zoloft in september 2020. I went from 50mg to 25mg and started feeling my dick and libido again (best blowjob of my life will never forget it), so i decided to cold turkey. My dick and heart went numb, no libido, low brain function, little motivation and heavy depression/ anhedonia (could only feel emptyness when i did not feel sad). I was also very constipated in the beginning and then it turned to diarrhea.

I happen to have a 28 yo brother who's the happiest guy i know. Total opposite of who i had become, tons of friends, successful carreer and very dopamine driven guy (watches every star wars show, collects legos, lots of sex partners, smokes weed, parties hard). Sleeps 6 hours a night and feels fine. He eats lots of fruits and veggies and is fairly active.

He believed me, since he is very against big pharma, and was eager to help. Got him tested for stds, all hepatitis, harmful bacterias and parasites.

We've only done it 3 times so far cause he had a ton of work (24/08 - 08/09 - 5/10). But boy oh boy do i feel a difference :

- I haven't felt depressed or empty for a month and a half now (when we started this shit).

- I have gotten more morning wood in the last week than in the last three years.

- My gut was always bloated, now it's always flat. Lot less diarrhea. Fodmaps do not cause constant gas anymore.

- My libido is a lot better (have been in an argument with my gf for the past month so have only had sex 3 times so far but i did not need any supplements).

- When masturbating my dick stand on its own without constant stimulation.

- Weed made me jittery and paranoid and i could not interact with people. Now i just feel stoned like a normal person.

- I had developed crazy social anxiety now it's miles better.

- If i slept 7 hours instead of 8 i needed two naps to recover during the day. Now i can sleep 6h and be fine.

- My semen was clear as water, non-sticky, no smell (which is a sign of infertility), now it's back to white, thick and sticky ropes.

- Getting kisses from my girlfriend felt like my skin was numb, now i feel tingles in my whole body.

- I have been to handle a stressful job + my studies without feeling overwhelmed once.

- My dick and balls feel warm and full of life lmao.

I know it sounds too good to be true. And honestly i still have moments of disbelief and fear that this emptiness is going to come back. But it never lasts long because i just feel so normal and involved in my life.

I still think i need a few more transplants to feel safe and sound. For example Blauwasser did it every few days for three months (at least 20 times). I only did it 3 times so far. But it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience.

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Update two weeks later (31/10/23) :

Still feeling very good. I did a 4th FMT on 19/10 and a 5th Fmt this morning.

Symptoms :

- I get morning wood most days.

- My libido is still good. I physically feel the need to release which is amazing : it's like my balls and prostate feel full of juice (sorry if tmi). I can get a strong erection just hugging or kissing my SO. My dick and my semen seem to have a strong smell again, which is something i had stopped experiencing. Semen is white and thick again. I have a lot of precum too, during PSSD i barely had any.

- Anhedonia is gone. Social interactions feel great and not completely forced and unnatural. Music feels amazing again, it was something i missed dearly. I watched the new scorcese movie (3h30) and it felt like 1h30, whereas before i had trouble focusing on a single TV show episode. Just kissing or smelling my SO feels amazing too, simply smelling her face is like the best thing ever. I'm very sensitive to smells again, and they often bring up old memories and feelings. I feel human is the clearest way to put it.

- I have a lot more energy. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea recently, but even when i'm very tired i can get through my studies + a job + social life + love life.

- I no longer feel schizophrenic when smoking weed. Even CBD would make me feel extremely weird.

- I no longer get diarrhea/bloating/gas everyday. It happens at times, like most people. I can eat pretty much anything and i make sure to get plenty of fiber.

Notes

- I started alternating between using a blender to mash up the poop and using a ziploc bag. Some people say using a blender kills the bacteria by exposing it to too much air, so i figured i would alternate between the two techniques.

- I sleep like absolute dogshit, and my libido is sometimes dampened by this. But a good night rest fixes that easily, which was not the case during PSSD/ before FMT. I'm looking to get that fixed.

- I'm lucky to have an extremely happy/ highly compatible donor (my brother). I'm not pretending it will work as well or as quickly for other people.

- I got used to this new life extremely quickly. It's like i finally woke up from what seemed like an endless nightmare where my life was on hold, but now i have to handle all the shit that was on hold (studies, money, social life, family etc..).

Yes my dick works, yes my digestion works, yes my emotions work but i still have to make money, study, take care of my friends and family. I'm very thankful i can do all that properly again but i feel like i've lost so much time and still have so much to do.

I do have a renewed appreciation for all the simple pleasures of life. But i also feel like life owes me something somehow. And just like with PSSD i know life isn't simply going to give it to me.

All the best to you all, i'll keep you updated. Don't let this shit make you feel like you're worth any less than anyone. Don't be afraid to talk about it to other people, you shouldn't feel any shame cause it's not your fault.

PS : What helped my manage my symptoms during my 3 years of PSSD :

- Cold showers (most useful, especially efficient during the winter)/ low fodmap diet/ intermittent fasting/ lots of coffee.

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FMT (fecal transplant) update almost a year later - Still cured - by dzsqualala, Aug 2024.

I did my first FMT in August 2023 after 3 years of PSSD. I've done about 8 enema FMT and swallowed about 60 FMT pills i would say.

Everything was home-made, using my brother as a donor.

I had depression my whole life, felt like i had a second voice every moment of my life doubting my every move, scared of anything and everything. I had meningitis as a kid and was on IV antibiotics for a good month. I experienced my first bout of depression after that. Took SSRI once at 17, then again at 19. PSSD hit me twice. The first time it resolved on its own. The depression did not go away so i took them again. This time i got everything and it got progressively worse.

I had really debilitating anhedonia, numb genitals, 0 libido, just felt like he biggest useless piece of shit on the face of earth. Alcohol and weed made me feel extremely uneasy and weird. I managed my studies but i spent most of my time in my room, trying to wake up my numb cock and browsing like a mad man. Could get erect with cialis but i didnt feel much and my mind was still completely fucked up. I had trouble feeling love for my soulmate with whom i had been since 2018, in between my two SSRI bouts.

I had a feeling my gut was tied to all this, since i had weird, floating diarrhea stools basically everyday and crazy gas and bloating. Went to see a bunch of gastroenterologists and psychiatrists who laughed at me and wanted to put me on more drugs.

Then i learned about FMT. About the fact that our gut micobiome is deeply tied to our mental health. Countless cases of people solving their Crohns disease, IBS, bipolar, depression thanks to it. I figured if it helped anhedonia, depression or IBS it would be enough for me to survive. Being so miserable around the people i loved was the worst feeling i ever experienced. I couldn't do anything for them. I read about Blauwasser, a user on PSSD forum who had cured his PSSD using repeated FMT's.

Took me a year to finally dare to do it. I did FMT with my brother using a protocol given by the australian woman, after testing my brother for a bunch of stuff. He's always been the cleanest in my family, level headed, lots of friends, many hobbies, not a care in the world and very sexually active. Mainly vegetarian. He trusted me to try this and we did.

Fast forward a year and i'm completely cured.

What i have gone through and what you're going through is unexplainable. None of my friends or family seemed to understand the degree of mental torture anhedonia and PSSD are. I felt like i would never experience happiness again. I did not feel human anymore.

Now i've completed my master's with amazing grades.

I had ups and downs. One FMT is not enough IMO. Even with a healthy brother with a highly compatible microbiome. I tried my best to eat a lot of fiber to make those new microbes thrive. I still do. Still have diarrhea at times, but that's just part of life and i can eat everything without issues. Things are not always perfect, i still get anxious from all the PTSD. I have a fucked up nose from playing rugby as a teen and my breathing sucks at times. But good god i feel alive again. Excited for the future. I want to have kids, marry the love of my life, have a career, carry my family and friends through tough times. And i feel completely able to do that.

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